When I was just a kid, on November 1 of each year, I was at home helping my mom or dad with the annual ritual of “visiting the dead people.” During that time, my cousins and I played with the melted candle wax on the tomb of my lolo (dad’s father) and uncle (dad’s brother). (They died when I was very little, so I don’t have any memories of them.) We turn the melted candle wax into a ball. At the end of the visit, we will compare what we got. The one with the biggest candle ball “wins.” Sometimes, some of us go to the other tombs (even though we don’t know the relatives of the person in the tomb) to get some of their melted candle wax. Sometimes, some of us prefer those with different colors. At the end of the visit, I never “win.” They always have the biggest candle wax ball. For me, this play is the highlight of the visit.
Then I turned to high school. Visiting now has a meaning for me. Now, we are visiting Lolo (mom’s father). I considered him my best friend when I was young. The family was there, reliving the life of the most incredible man. This is a sort of family reunion because some of my Lolo’s relatives visit every year. His family is not from around, actually, so we only got to see them once in a while. That time, the whole visit was the highlight of the visit.
Now that I am working in Metro Manila, sometimes it is not convenient for me to go home this time of year. Sometimes, I am not even in Metro Manila but outside Luzon entirely doing fieldwork. I cannot join my family and relatives for the annual visit. All I can do now is honor our beloved departed’s memories. I know my family and relatives (living or otherwise) understand me.
Original address: http://www.frederickcalica.com/thoughtpatterns/2004/11/01/11/