words. past. days.

work. stress. travel. chat. laugh. dare. travel. lost. found. walk. search. wait. dine. talk. walk. talk. travel. talk. play. grill. drink. laugh. chat. travel. text. browse. dawn. sleep.

alarm. snooze. sleep. alarm. snooze. sleep. alarm. up. prepare. travel. text. talk. listen. write. play. laugh. puzzle. eat. pay. buy. card. pay. travel. mrt. claustraphobia. walk. talk. rest. watch. eat. talk. watch. eat. talk. sleep. watch. sleep. watch. morning. up. watch. talk. eat. talk. clothes. charmed.

>> blurr <<

eat. talk. travel.

rest.

prepare. travel. search. ask. walk. talk. travel. watch. nap. watch nap. watch. nap. talk. travel. talk. eat. travel.

journal. sleep.

meet ichibu and chichibi

when icheb met dex and dierdre, ichibu and chichibi came out and play. to know how that went, ask for the transcript of VBYC Nov. 25, 2005 edition.

the following is my explanation as to who these personalities are and why.

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=

J (6:48:19 PM): thanks po… ang kulit ha, patulan ba ang kahibangan ni dex? :))
I (6:48:50 PM): i need to vent my stress kasi.
J (6:50:46 PM): ah, of course…
J (6:51:41 PM): feel better?
I (6:52:31 PM): yeah. but those two personalities did become real at one time or another.
J (6:53:54 PM): :-O
I (6:54:22 PM): well… when poor icheb got too drunk.
J (6:56:35 PM): again — :-O
I (6:57:00 PM): you read that right.
J (7:10:10 PM): how intriguing… can i ask about them?
I (7:13:38 PM): there are two possible (but not limited to) personalities when i am drunk and my defenses and inhibitions are down:
I (7:13:41 PM): too assertive >> ichibu
I (7:13:55 PM): or too loud >> chichibi
J (7:16:10 PM): ok, i understand the loud personality… happens to a lot of people… but the assertive part…
J (7:16:10 PM): isn\’t that part of your normal self?
I (7:16:41 PM): that is not the normal me.
I (7:16:51 PM): OSG remember?
J (7:17:23 PM): ah, yes… almost forgot 😀
I (7:17:43 PM): unless provoked that is.
I (7:17:49 PM): or necessary.
J (7:19:50 PM): and are you provoked often?
I (7:20:26 PM): fortunately not that often.
J (7:21:42 PM): hmmm… can\’t imagine you getting provoked…
I (7:22:28 PM): you can\’t imagine the personalities fighting for dominance.
J (7:24:41 PM): and they only get to come out and play when you overindulge in alcohol… tsk, tsk too bad for them 🙂
I (7:25:03 PM): too bad for them.
I (7:25:44 PM): although recently, i\’m enjoying them (personalities) being harmonious with each other.
J (7:26:42 PM): oh? how come? what happened recently?
I (7:28:07 PM): more of like they are merging.
I (7:28:56 PM): what happened recently… i don\’t know.
I (7:29:00 PM): 😀
J (7:30:53 PM): ah okay… as long you\’re happy… all of you 😀
I (7:31:56 PM): hey, these personalities are still me. 😀

intellectually intelligent?

snitched from angelgin.

\”intellectually\” intelligent? but i don\’t feel like one.

\”Intellectually\” Intelligent

You\’re \’Intellectually Intelligent.\’ That pretty much means that you\’re good with theoretical ideas and concepts – but this comes to you naturally. More or less, you\’re a natural brainiac. Good for you.

60% theoretical intelligence
60% natural intelligence

Take this quiz at QuizGalaxy.com

me and my friend lonely

last monday (nov 21), i decided to walk along makati ave going to our dorm. many things crossed my mind and then i just realized i am alone. wait… scratch that. i am with my friend, a friend named “lonely”. that was what i was and felt during that time. it may be a good thing or a bad thing but since then these two songs played in my mind up until right now. i can’t get these songs out of my head!

Westlife – Loneliness Knows Me By Name

osg track #3: can\'t loose what you never had.

this song should be the last in the list as the guy in the song finally made up his mind.

Can’t Loose What You Never Had
Westlife

Baby you’re so beautiful
And when I’m near you I can’t breathe (I can’t breathe)
A girl like you get what she wants when she wants it.
You’re so out of my league (out my league).

I show you no emotion,
Don’t let you see, what you’re doin’ to me (that’s what you seeing baby).
I imagine the two of us together
But I’ve been living in reality.

Fear of rejection kept my love inside,
But time is running out so damn my foolish pride,

I don’t care if you think I’m crazy (crazy).
It doesn’t matter if it turns out bad (I don’t care).
I’ve got no fear of losing you.
You can’t lose what you never had.

Now I’m gonna confess that I love you (love you),
I’ve been keeping it inside (inside) feelin’ I could die.
But if you turn away, baby, that’s O.K.
At least we had a moment before you say goodbye
You can lose what you never had.

Rules are made for breaking (breaking)
Nothing ventured, nothing gained
I’ll be no worse off than I am right now
And I might never get that chance again, baby.

Fear of rejection kept my love inside
Told my heart I didn’t want you but I lied.

I don’t care if you think I’m crazy (I’m crazy)
It doesn’t matter if it turns out bad
(Doesn’t matter if it turns out bad)
I’ve got no fear of losing you
You can’t lose what you never had.

Now I’m gonna confess that i love you (I love you)
I’ve been keeping it inside (inside) feelin I could die (I could die)
But if you turn away, baby, that’s O.K
At least we’ll have a moment before, you say good-bye
(Before you say goodbye)

Here on the outside looking in
Don’t wanna stay dreaming bout what could have been
Need to hear you speak my name
Even if you shoot me down in flames

I don’t care if you think I’m crazy (I’m don’t care baby)
It doesn’t matter if it turns out bad (if it turns out bad)
I’ve got no fear of losing you,
You can’t lose what you never had

Now I’m gonna confess that i love you (that I love you girl)
I’ve been keepin’ it inside feelin’ I could die (die)
But if you turn away, baby, that’s O.K,
At least we have a moment before you say good-bye

You can’t loose what you never had
You can’t loose what you never had
You can’t loose what you never had……

the osg: official shy guy playlist
1. in my dreams
2. i fall so deep
3. can\’t loose what you never had

Ensign Fridan

I am reposting the character background of Fridan, the character I am playing for the VA-RPG. I am planning to expand some aspects of Fridan\’s past and retelling past RPG updates in Fridan\’s point of view.

Ensign Fridan
Andorian Engineer, and a new graduate of Starfleet Academy

Fridan acts and behaves, in all respects, like a human, despite the fact that he’s an Andorian. He is a registered citizen and resident of Earth, and lived with his adoptive parents until he went away to the Academy.

Little is known of his background as a child in Andor. His adoptive Human parents, Enrique and Mimi Caceres, adopted little Fridan from an orphanage in Andor when he was five years old, and the Caceres’s in their early forties. The couple retained his given name, but legally, he is known as Fridan Caceres. Lately, he’s been calling himself only by his first name, as per Andorian tradition.

Enrique and Mimi raised Fridan in their home near a beach in Greater Hong Kong of Earth. Fridan became a technophile at an early age, making little gadgets that, most of the time, just became added clutter in their attic. His love of gadgets came from his human father, Enrique, who was a Starfleet engineer stationed in San Francisco.

For her part, Mimi, a planetologist, opened Fridan’s eyes to the natural wonders of Earth. During her frequent trips to the rainforests of the New Luzon Cordilleras and the Hundred Islands underwater laboratories in the Philippine islands, Mimi would almost always bring Fridan with her. And, in most of these trips, Fridan would surprise Mimi with his ability to name almost all the flora and fauna that they would encounter.

It was in one of these trips to the rainforest that he met one of his best friends, the Aurelian, P’Yek. And even now, the two still regularly exchange correspondences. He also met Pedro Pilim, in one of these trips. Pedro, the son of the head marine biologist of the Hundred Islands labs, did not hit it off well with Fridan in the beginning, given that they competed in almost everything while Fridan stayed in the facility. However, in one of the worst emergencies of the lab, the two worked to together to save the facility when the pressure barrier in the lab’s main observation room started to weaken. Combining their skills, they were able to stop the collapse of the barrier, long enough for them to report it to the engineers. The two have been friends since.

His best friend was perhaps Li Yao, his next-door neighbor and childhood friend. They had been friends since the day Fridan arrived in Greater Hong Kong. The two have been constant friends since, and it was hard for them when Fridan had to go with his mother on her frequent trips to the Pacific. They studied in the same schools and had the same interests. Yao, a Kung Fu aficionado, convinced Fridan to take up Kung Fu lessons with him in Tibet. Fridan’s parents objected at first, but because of his persistence, they relented. Immediately after their final term, the two relocated to Tibet and began their Kung Fu lessons.

While in Tibet, he and Yao frequently went mountain climbing. With his higher stamina and strength, Fridan did not have a problem dealing with the dangerous slopes and low temperatures of Tibet’s mountains. Yao, on the other hand, had difficulties. In their very last climb, Yao slipped and his harness broke. He fell down the slopes and was critically injured, not having had time to press the emergency transporter trigger that both carried. Fridan raced down the slopes to rescue Yao, and immediately transported him to the nearest hospital. But the human’s injuries were too severe – Yao was declared dead on arrival.

Fridan did not take the incident well, believing that the fault was his. His two friends, P’Yek and Pedro, were with him at Yao’s funeral, consoling and comforting their grief-stricken friend. Trying to shake him out of his grief, the two suggested that Fridan join Starfleet, as they both intended to. The human-andorian was convinced, but he decided to postpone his application and honor Yao’s memory by finishing his matials arts training. He returned to the monastery and finished his training.

Several months later, his application to the Academy was granted and, to his pleasant surprise, he was assigned quarters with Pedro, with P’Yek living in the adjoining quarters (Aurelians had special needs and needed quarters of their own).

While Fridan took the engineering track, Pedro and P’Yek took the science track. Still, all three continued to pusue their hobbies and interests all throughout Academy. P’Yek had a fascination with all things 21st century so she would always drag the others to the academy’s recreational holosuites, and participate in holo-simulations of 21st-century videoke bars. Typically, Fridan would just watch his friends sing old Earth songs off-key while he enjoyed his favorite brand of synthale.

All thoughout his Academy days, Fridan experienced occasional bouts of insomnia. And during these sleepless nights, he would take out his saxophone – his favorite musical instrument, and visit the holosuites, activating night-time beach simulations, and play to his heart’s content. His dad also played the saxophone, and this was his way of bringing a bit of home back with him.

His Terran social skills and cultural knowledge was put to the test when he fell in love with a human girl in his Temporal Mechanics class. Her name was Tricia and, although he did everything to try and get her attention, she didn’t respond. She said that she wasn’t interested in an interspecies relationship. Fridan was heart-broken. A few months later, he found out that Tricia had started a relationship with one of their Klingon exchange students. Fridan became almost suicidal. To try and take away his hurt he concentrated on his studies and eventually finished his Starfleet training at the same time as his friends.

Fridan graduated with the highest honors in his class, which was not surprising given his bright, inquisitive nature, his dogged determination (coming from his need to drown his personal problems), and his eidetic memory. His grades made him the kind of graduate that many starship captains and station commanders look for, and was immediately assigned to the Deep Space 7 space station. Pedro and P’Yek also received their orders soon afterwards, and all three continue to stay in touch with each other.

His first assignment was as an engineer on the gamma shift of Deep Space 7. This arrangement worked well with his frequent bouts of insomnia, but the work was boring to him. He wanted to work on a starship, and though a raw Academy graduate, he dared dream of serving on the Federation flagship, the USS Enterprise-E, but, trying to be realistic, he instead hoped for a posting on a science ship like the Luna-class USS Titan. After his application for a reassignment, he was soon assigned to a starship. Although it was not the USS Titan, it was close – he was assigned to another Luna-class starship, the USS Europa.

This time he was appointed as an apprentice engineer – more as a troubleshooter – an engineer without any area of specialization; in the vernacular – he was a gofer. Still, the ship’s chief engineer and captain didn’t fail to notice his good work, and gave him commendations. As a new ship undergoing shakedown, the Europa was plagued with all kinds of problems – mostly engineering-type problems. But Fridan did the lion’s share of the work that made the ship’s voyage smooth, and this didn’t fail to escape the notice of his superiors.

After several months, he received new orders: he was reassigned to Research Station Canarvon near the Romulan border. He was curious as to why he was assigned to this backwater research station but did not think it appropriate to ask his superiors. Several days later, he found himself aboard a shuttle going to the surface of Eldorado. Apparently, transporters didn’t work on the planet because of the unusual ambient radiation surrounding it.

Upon landing, he was greeted by the station’s chief engineer and was given his first briefing. He had just started to settle down in his new job, but, a few days later, he a received a hand-carried communiqu� (the same phenomenon that prevented transporters from working also interfered with subspace communications, so messages were couriered from place to place).

The message was from Pedro. He was told his father just died. The authorities said that it was from an accident, but Pedro thought there may have been foul play. Still, the investigation wasn’t done yet, so no one knew the real events. Grief stricken, Fridan vowed to return to Earth the first chance he got, and get to the bottom of his father’s possible murder.

But, in the meantime, life went on in the distant science outpost…

down with a mild fever

it has been a long time since i was sick. when i started working here in metro manila, i didn’t got sick that often. but if i feel like i’m going to have one, i immediately apply for a sick leave and travel back home at la union.

i am now down with a mild fever and i can’t go home. i’m getting homesick.

of consipracy and grilling sessions

warning: coded post.

lately, i wondered there is a conspiracy going on and somehow i am involved.

there was something going on yesterday that led to unprepared flight plan last night and a bout of insomnia until the wee hours of the morning that led to me being late at work today.

so tonight, i am expecting a grilling session. a really big one. i have to brace myself.

update 11-17-2005 11:30AM

and it turns out that no such grilling session happened. is this still part of the conspiracy? at least, i am grateful for that.

of consipracy and grilling sessions

warning: coded post.

lately, i wondered there is a conspiracy going on and somehow i am involved.

there was something going on yesterday that led to unprepared flight plan last night and a bout of insomnia until the wee hours of the morning that led to me being late at work today.

so tonight, i am expecting a grilling session. a really big one. i have to brace myself.

update 11-17-2005 11:30AM

and it turns out that no such grilling session happened. is this still part of the conspiracy? at least, i am grateful for that.

osg track #2: i fall so deep

this is track #2 of the OSG: Official Shy Guy playlist — a list of songs that shy guys (like me) can relate to.

I Fall So Deep
Gary Barlow

I\’m always thinking about you
I wonder if you can tell
These things I\’m feeling inside me
I keep them all to myself
Scared to show my true emotions
Don\’t want to love alone

Because I fall so deep
You never know how far I go
And I know why hearts beat desperately
I fall so deep

Some people think love is foolish
While others think its a game
I think that love is a fire
I\’m burning up in your flame
I\’m so lost in my emotions
Wanting you ever more

Because I fall so deep
You never know how far I go
And I know why hearts beat desperately
I fall so deep

And I\’ve come so close to the part
Where I reveal my heart to you
But I lose my nerve, can\’t find the words
To tell you that it\’s true

Because I fall so deep
You never know how far I go
And I know why hearts beat desperately
I fall so deep, I fall so deep

I\’m always thinking about you
I wonder if you can tell
these things I\’m feeling inside me
I fall so deep…
I fall so deep…


the osg: official shy guy playlist
1. in my dreams
2. i fall so deep