This is a micro-story that I wrote way back in 2001. During that time, I got so stressed with work and decided to write down something. And the short short story was born. After that time, I didn’t write another one, and this story was not even edited. That serves as a warning.

A friend who read this story asked me if this is autobiographical. All I can answer is… I just wrote it. Period.

Silence For My Questions
by bluemask2099

I don’t know what to feel today. I don’t know, but the wind that always greet me when I sit down on my favorite part of the beach is different today. The rays of the sun that fall on my skin seems like they are just getting to know me. At the back of my mind I said, “This is not an ordinary day.”

I usually come to this part of the beach, under the shade of the camachile tree behind the lush talahib grass, an hour or so before the sun sets. I usually come here to meditate, think of the week’s events, hoping to find answers to my questions before a new week begins. But today, I feel different.

When I sat down under my tree, my cellphone beeped a familiar sound. I just received a message from my friend and former classmate Lyn.

“What is the best news that you want you hear?”

That is a tough one, I thought. It took me some time before I formulated a response. Then I sent my reply.

“I am the Prince of England or Sally will come to meet me today.”

I chuckled. I know that any of these is not possible. I know Sally forgot about me already.

Then after a few seconds, Lyn’s reply got through my cellphone.

“YES.”

I dropped my cellphone on the sand. “I don’t believe it,” my mind shouted as if it has its own voice. I know Lyn very well. I know if she is just kidding or getting serious. When it comes to Sally, she is not kidding for she was Sally’s best friend.

For many years that already passed, I lost track already, back when I was in high school, I meet her. She was just an ordinary girl and, back then, I was just an ordinary boy. I was still too boyish at that time. And Sally, she was becomming a young lady. My immaturity was evident that I used to tease here with almost every guy in our class. Every guy, except me.

Then it hit me. Real hard. I realized what I was doing to her is wrong. I then tried to avoid her. I walk the other way when she is approching. I might to some other thing or just walk away when she is around. Soon, Lyn, then Sally’s best friend, approched me and said, “I noticed that you changed and ignoring Sally. Almost everytime.” And then she asked, “Do you have a crush on Sally?”

I neither admit it nor denied it.

I changed again. From ignoring her to almost stalking her. I got this desire to know what she wants, what she hates, what she loves. But my shyness came in an unopportune time. It might have been better that I go to her and just ask the bunch of questions that are popping inside my head. But then I was too shy. Then came the time when my actions, my ways and everything changed. I was becoming a young man.

After days of meditation along the beach, I came to the decide that I must overcome my shyness and tell Sally the truth. To tell her how I feel towards her and to ask her the questions that I was dying to hear her answers.

The next day, bad new came. She was not in class. Lyn came over to my seat and said. “I have something to tell you. Sally is transfering to her old school. Her parents are already together and they want her to stay with them again. Sally, stayed with her brother during the time that her parents are fighting. I just want to let you know.” She returned to her seat.

Third period, she came to our class, not in her school uniform. She asked our teacher if she could say something to the class. Her permission was granted. She then said thanks for the memories and the time she spent with the whole class and she said that she would miss us. She then spoke to her close friends to personally thank them. Of course, I was not on her list.

I feel very bad as if all the stars fell down and crushed me to bits. I turned to Lyn’s direction, she was whispering something but I can’t make sense out of it. She just then came to my side and whispered, “Tell her now!” I froze. Suddenly I feel nothing. I don’t know what to say. I know that if I didn’t told her now, I will lost her forver. But this is not how it must be!

I was still feeling numb when she walk out of the room. Then our teacher said us, “If anyone want to say something to Sally right now, I will let you go out and follow her.” That is my cue. I immediately stood up and followed her outside. After I stepped out of the room I heard someone said, “Yes!” I also heard, “You can do it!”, “Tell her!”, “That explains things!”

At the hallway, I called her name. She stopped and looked at my direction. I catched up. She gave me a smile, a smile as radiant as the sunshine. I catched my breath and I also smiled.

“Sally,” I started, “I am sorry for all what I said and done to you.”

“I forgive you. I’m already okay,” she said.

“I also want you to know that I like you,” I said, feeling very awkward. “Very much. I kept this feeling for so long now,” I added. “I also want to know, what do you feel for me too?” I asked.

She smiled again. She didn’t said a word.

“Well, can we just be more that friends?” I asked.

“You are not yet ready,” Sally said.

“I am ready. Please say something!” I pleaded.

“It’s not yet the right time,” she continued.

“When will be the right time? You might forget about me.”

“Time will tell. And when the time comes, I will answer all your questions.”

“I will remember… I will wait for you.” That was my last words.

“Bye, and see you…” That was what last I heard from her.

Days, months, and years passed me by. Sure, I dated other girls. I did had a girlfriend. I know that me and Sally will never become more than friends because I heard that she already have a boyfriend.

For years, I feel like I still have a hole inside me. I guess what keeping me half empty is the fact that some questions inside is not yet answered. Once, those voices are silenced, I may become whole.

My cellphone is ringing. Lyn is calling. I picked it up and blew some of the sand, and answered it.

“Guess, who’s with me. Turn around,” she said.

I also turned around. Turned away from the setting sun. Then I saw her, I saw Sally. My soul is singing, “Silence for my questions is here at last.”

Original address: http://www.frederickcalica.com/thoughtpatterns/2004/08/06/3/