I always fancy myself as a writer. You know, someone who writes stuff. The problem is, I haven’t written anything for a long (emphasis on the “long”) time. My mind can be full of words, ideas, but when these are swimming in head I always tell myself that I don’t have time to sit down and write. Yes, I procrastinate. Or sometimes when I do have time to write, I can’t seem to force the ideas buried inside my mind to just flow out. Yes, I blame writer’s block. Or is it?
I started seeing myself that I can actually write some nice stuff after my first writing assignment of my essay class way back college. On the first day of the class, the teacher distributed index cards (if I remember correctly) containing topics for an essay to be written on the spot. The topic that I got was something about being sixty years old. I had to write that essay in less that an hour so I decided to make it short and not so serious, in short, I need to exaggerate. I don’t remember the exact words but I put there me being on retirement, a big company, a distinguished record, and with a nice home. I ended the essay with, “I am sixty and I am OK.”
The next day of the class, all essays are returned except for a few ones. I haven’t received mine. The teacher said she will read the chosen essays in class before returning it. “Uh, oh,” I thought. After reading mine, she asked if I want to join the school publication. I said, I don’t have time. See first paragraph. But after getting some good marks on my essays on that class I eventually joined the school publication. Maybe I can share more of that next time. Years after graduating though I never written something substantial but I still fancy myself as a writer.
In the early days of social networking (the era of Friendster and onwards), I started writing some little stuff (just short pieces) sporadically. I posted and cross-posted them on my blogs, in Multiply, LiveJournal, and i.ph. Some were personal but most of fandom related in nature. On the non-fandom writings, I usually posted those as a form of emotional catharsis (which a friend pointed out). Then, the well of inspiration dried out. The writing muse left. I reverted back to my usual reasons of not writing. See first paragraph.
So, here I am. With a new blog. Go, figure. I need to do this. I need myself and other people see me not just by my day job or just my geeky hobbies. If I wanted to see myself as a writer, I had to write. Write not just sporadically. Write not only about fandom. Write not only as an emotional catharsis. Write not only because I am inspired. I just have to write stuff. I hope I can sustain this for days to come. For this, I need to push myself. If I stall, please don’t hesitate to slap me with a trout.
Top image: “Keyboard” by Peter Harrison (cheetah100) is licensed under CC BY 2.0.